Saturday, June 04, 2005

Which side would you rather be on?

I was married for four years, we dated for four years before that. In all it was a good relationship. There are some things I look back on and wish I could change. Something went wrong along the way. I swore to myself I would never let my marriage go bad. I kept up my end . He let his end waver and here I am starting my life over again. Its been a rough road. I've learned a lot about myself. I know now that I'm a strong person and I CAN take care of myself. So, I find myself out in the dating world. Let me just say what a scary place that is. I'm getting to the point, I swear! I meet a really nice guy, I wasn't expecting anything to come of it. We were just friends. Somewhere along the way that changed and we began dating. My thought is why not go for it. You never know where life will lead you. We had fun hanging out. I started to get the feeling things changed for him. I freaked out a little. I decided to ride it out and see what happened. Oh how I hate it when I'm right sometimes. Do you ever see something coming from a mile away but just can't seem to except its happening? That's me. Like a deer caught in the headlights. I still stand there mesmerized by those beautiful lights every single time. Then WHAM, Its all over. So here is the question.....Would you rather be on the side telling someone its over or being the one hearing it? When you are the on telling, though it hurts you there has to be some kind of relief. Being on the end hearing it, the pain can stay longer and you are baffled. I think I would much rather be on the telling side, being on the hearing side quite often. Then I think that's what happens when you put your heart out there in someone else's hands and hope they don't crush it. That's part of life. I will overcome like so many things in my life. Just one more bump in the road. I will continue to put my heart out there. If your not willing to take a risk you might miss out on something wonderful.

4 Comments:

Blogger Shannon said...

good question... i've probably been on both sides of the equation and neither of them is really easy or fun...

all i can say is that emotions are difficult to deal with and control.

all you can do is guard them like you guard the rest of your body... i mean, you can't get an STD or pregnant from being overly emotionally intimate but you can still get really hurt.... bleh.

1:17 PM  
Blogger j-lay said...

shannon is right. neither is easy, but i must say that the recieving end is normally worse. though if you are a caring person, the telling side is no cake walk.

11:34 AM  
Blogger Kirsten Alana said...

been on both sides. the receiving end WAY more (telling side only twice)...

neither is good. I concur with Shannon and jlay.

So - I'd say neither, neither side ever again...

but then - it goes against every fiber of my being that says without risking hurt, you'll never find joy!!!

there is the rub.

10:19 AM  
Blogger Zuriel said...

Both sides suck. But like you said, that's life. I don't want to be on either end. It hurts either way. It's just up to us on how we handle it, and how we continue to go on.

8:40 PM  

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